In the Trenches with the First Draft Revision

Posted May 23, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Novel, Science Fiction, Writing

Tags: , , , ,

So I putter away at revising the first draft of the novel, not quite yet doing very much of the real work.  The real work of laboring to put words that make sense in the right places.  One after another, for a long time.

I have to write some new scenes, rewrite others.  I’ve got one subplot kind of figured out.  I’m hoping a more whimsical, trivial one will make itself apparent to me.  I’ve made a few editing changes here and there.

There’s no doubt that writing the first draft had to be an exploration, a struggle to make each event a cause of another so true that a story appears.

I’m starting to have the scary perception that some of what I’ve written is good.  Of course I have no real way to determine how much off the mark that is, but I feel a hint of excitement.

I wrote the first draft one paragraph after another without going back and inspecting what I had wrought and must inevitably adjust.  That was freeing.  I had my scene roadmap, adorned with missing pathways and “Here Be Dragons” that I steered by.  Eventually I passed over some parts of the plan, and added scenes and fresh (occasionally hackneyed without doubt) directions to others.  But most importantly, I didn’t try to rewrite anything, or even edit atrociously awkward sentences.  I was careful not to go back and read them.

Alan Watt’s book The 90-Day Novel really inspired me.  I didn’t follow the schedule of his book at all or even pay much attention to that tired 3-Act Novel act.  (Three Act Structure just means the story has a beginning, a middle and the end.  It doesn’t really amount to a method….)  But words like these were encouraging, perceptive and wise:

“Many of us are writing stories of freedom, but struggle to imagine what that might look like for our hero. …

“Being certain about any aspect of our story limits us.  Let’s trust that the story lives fully within us, and that something valid wants to be expressed.  There’s an experience far more empowering than certainty, and that is a faith in the fundamental truth of our story, a growing belief that it is not necessary to force anything, but rather to inquire into the nature of what we want to express.”

I’m surprised now as I read, that my first draft is often so succinct and descriptive. The characters actually stand out from the background.  You can hear who they are.  There is a story, an interesting one.

The tasks of this second draft I think will be to carefully remove the indistinct and to sharpen turns of the characters and to tighten the chains of causation between them.  Make the future world more interesting and strange, yet plausible.  Make the story better.  Don’t die by the time I get around to finishing it….

There is a workable, standing framework to carefully sculpt, without disturbing whatever delicate balance I might have accidentally managed to create.

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Boyhood in the North

Posted May 17, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Music, Remembering, sixties, Writing

Tags: , , , , ,

In the late Sixties

the Vietnam War years

in our

log cabin in a

northern place

the tinny nighttime music from

AM radio

came in from

Portland or Seattle

during the midnight hours

Piles of snow outside

and the icy forest all around

cracking

We could hear the distant

shouts of war all the way

up there while

the music

arrived –

The Doors

Buffalo Springfield

Donovan

Who dares to forget

Jennifer Juniper

or, yes, Mellow Yellow

and the accompanying rumours

about baking

banana strings in the oven

So many Donovan songs

I forgot how much he was the soundtrack

of those years

Catch the Wind

Season of the Witch

Sunshine Superman

Wear Your Love Like Heaven

Baharajagal

Hurdy Gurdy Man

Universal Soldier

music shaping us while

kerosene light bounced

from snow crystals

at the window

 

Guitar Dreams

Posted May 1, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Culture, Guitar, Music, Remembering, Writing

Tags: , , ,

I wanted to play so much

as a green teenager

I needed to make music as stirring

As what we heard on

our battery radio

on cold winter nights

all over the Pacific Northwest

down to San Francisco

 

In a northern cabin

A guitar came into my hands

From my mother

Acoustic, hard to play

Poorly made

I puzzled to play something

vaguely rocking

While in the background

Donovan

sang

Hurdy Gurdy Man

 

Fight

To play the guitar

No instruction

Little talent

Just willfulness

It ended badly

With a whimper

 

Now in my latter

years I have returned

to the beautiful

instrument

Still not very good

But better

 

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Plodding Through the Sucking Swamp of First Draft Novel Revision

Posted April 27, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Novel, Science Fiction, Writing

Tags: , , , , , ,

OK, it’s not quite as bad as that.  Almost just about, though, sometimes.

I’ve written a lengthy first draft, and since I’m pretty new to this whole cool, impressive novel thing, I’ve dithered about buckling down to revision.  (If you’re curious, it’s a science fiction revenge and redemption novel, with alien contact.)

I did take a number of months hiatus after finishing the first draft.  I found that easy to do.  (I did keep jotting down ideas and advice to myself, so showing some good instincts there, I hope.)

The problem is I have no idea of what good revision means, in an operational sort of way.  This is similar to my problem about writing a story.  I had no idea what a story really is.  I am still not entirely clear.

And my first response to the revision problem was, just as for story, to find and read as many books as possible on the subject.  You’d be surprised at how many there are, although I didn’t buy all of them.

I’ve read quite a few by now.  I can recommend a couple that will end up probably helping me:

Layer Your Novel, by C.S. Lakin, and Rock Your Revisions by Cathy Yardley.

Although I’m definitely getting to grips with revision now, I still plan to read Blueprint Your Bestseller (uh-huh) by Stuart Horwitz which promises a way to “organize and revise any manuscript.”  We’ll see.

One of the big things dragging me down has been perhaps an over-sensitive appreciation of the problem of structure.  How do I see the structure in what I wrote?  How do I make the story big, better?  One starts to get bogged down in the theory.  But I have found some approaches that make sense in starting to get an overview.

Peering Through the Thickets

When I was thinking about starting the novel,  I wrote kind of a scene by scene treatment where I wanted to go, which inevitably in the doing went down unforeseen paths.

So my first step, after reading the whole thing once, was to complete a list of all my scenes, along with the necessary scene questions.  This was good advice from Cathy Yardley.

By going through all the scenes, I’ve read the draft a second time.  The second time around, it was as if I was reading it for the first time.  I found so much that I hadn’t caught at all.

For some background, I wrote the first draft without going back and editing anything.  Just get it down and worry about all the rest later.  Sometimes the sequences are disjointed and out of kilter because I was still discovering what the story was.

Most recently I’ve been working on a list of every character in the book, along with penetrating questions about the main ones.  But every character, even the most minor, has a visual, or if not, I make one up.

I worked on characters quite a lot before starting writing, but only after writing the first draft am I able to see possible connections and oppositions between the characters I didn’t before.

I’ve only now really started to get a sense of the characters.  They were thin specters in a haze previously.  This is not to say that they’re somehow completely clear and real in my mind – there’s still much fog wafting about.

Up until now, I’ve put off any line-by-line editing because of my structural concerns and worry about where to best add or delete new scenes (and/or sequels).

But even so today, for the very first time, I did some line editing of the first chapter.  That’s going to be fun, improving and making the words come alive.  (I would like to think.)

It really requires getting in the scene with characters, as if in some battle arena where you, incorporeal, closely observe the goings on without fear of a knife in the ribs.  One or two specific true-to-life descriptions in the scene can do so much, I’ve found, and being imaginatively in the scene with the characters facilitates that.

I’m sure I’ve got much, much more to learn about it.

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A note about a couple of useful tools in revision – for me anyway.

My favorite thesaurus, online or offline: Power Thesaurus.

This customizable random name generator is my favorite.  Still using it in revision, after forgetting to put in names of minor characters…. Behind the Name .

Canadian Summer III

Posted April 18, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Awareness, mystery, Remembering, Writing

Tags: , , ,

We were older then

suddenly

The three boys

growing into men

although very young ones

Our mother

long widowed and

independent

Always ready for a

loud happy party

She loved to

hold court at the

fire pit

a  few yards from our cabin

on the hillside

over the creek

in a balding grove of poplars

The fire pit was half an old cast iron

boiler or other contraption

Go on – stick a log into the open end

into the fire’s hot coals

it saves making firewood

Sparks fly!

Summer twilight

Far enough north to be uncommonly late

our neighbours, friends and

townfolk who knew my mother

pick-ups and sedans in the yard

the noise of the creek

in the oncoming night

All gathered ’round the flames

bright yellow and orange

shimmering white deep down

We sat on logs or planks

Some standing

beer in hand

the firelight gleaming from our eyes and glasses

Chatting and teasing, disputing and agreeing

or not speaking, taking in the summer night

Waving away the firesmoke and mosquitos

Not quite knowing that

This is what endures

 

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Canadian Summer II

Posted April 14, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Awareness, mystery, Remembering, Writing

Tags: , , ,

See

there’s the Old Wagon Road

that went up over our land and

ran off to who knows where

Grassed over

it was a road to nowhere

a remnant of another time

deep into the forest

of our imaginations

cowboys and indians

cops and robbers

no super heroes though

My brothers built

a little house

in the woods

out of poles

by the Old Wagon Road

an echo of

the log cabin in the clearing below us

The little house framed a collection

of cast-off plates spoons and pots

old rusting tools

and a broken down chair

From outside take a look

between

the little green poplar logs

all the wonderful clutter within

I don’t know what it was

But that pretend cabin

stood proud along

the old road

 

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Canadian Summer

Posted April 10, 2018 by fencer
Categories: Awareness, mystery, Remembering, Writing

Tags: , , ,

Canadian Summer

as I lived it

my own particular Canadian summer

you’re there

say 1967

log cabin

central northern bc, canada, north america

the wheat fields next door

provide the burnished light

of summer

on Deep Creek Road

past where that bull was corralled

come on down and

across the Deep Creek bridge

and take the right into our driveway

Go past

that there official welcoming committee

three old black rubber tires

stacked to hold upright

a rag doll man

made out of driftwood

decorated with my brothers’ old

clothes

And roll up the slight rise as the gravel crunches

And stops

There’s that log cabin

That captured my father’s heart

thecabin

 

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